Change is Scary, but so is Staying the Same.

Change is Scary, but so is Staying the Same?

That was a phrase I heard somewhere, years ago. I don’t remember where, but it haunts me everyday. I understand the only constant thing in life is change, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

I have been through a lot of changes in my life, some good, some bad. I have learned to embrace the good changes, but the bad ones are harder to deal with. I have learned to accept that change is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I hate it when people say everything is a lesson, because sometimes it is not. And I swear, it sucks. Sometimes, things just happen, and there is no lesson to be learned. And That’s what happening when change happens. It’s not always a lesson, sometimes it’s just a random stone thrown at you.

I was a new organist at my church 3 years ago. It was a big change for me, I had to learn how to play the organ, and it was a lot of work. I was shaped like a clay. Cause it wasn’t just about learning how to play the organ, but also learning how to be a servant.

I learned critics, rejections, and how to deal with them. Being rejected felt unnecessary, like thrown by a random stone. it changes how I relate to ego, criticism, performance, and validation.

But looking back, I know I should not really care about rejection, people have their own preference, and I can’t please everyone. I learned that I’m here to help people and not to satisfy people’s expectations.

And that’s how change works.

Not all change is meaningful. Some of it is just friction, randomness, or other people’s decisions colliding with mine.

That is a song called “everything changes” by Ethan French. Even though it’s not a popular song, it really depicts the feeling of change. It really hits home for me, and I hope it does for you too.

Someday though our eyes won’t Be the same I hope that we will see More clearly then Someday

But as the world moves on, So do our lives And we forget the way we used to be, The ones who saw things differently But isn’t it what we asked for

And I change so I change my mind What remains will be left behind

The lyrics are very mature, it doesn’t see change as an absolute “winnning arc” like the other songs. No promises of a better future, just the reality of change. That it is neutral, sometime heals, or erase something important in life.

“But isn’t it what we asked for”

We always ask for change:

• want to grow up
• want to move on
• want to be free
• want to success

but when it comes, we realized it’s not what we expected, we lost some part of ourselves in the process.

How about staying the same?

“Change is scary, but so is staying the same” works because the second half is equally terrifying once you really think about it.

I have a friend, a childhood friend, who is still holding onto a role that most people leave behind after high school. Now we are already in college, moving through internships, responsibilities, and uncertainty about the future, yet somehow they are still standing in the same place they were years ago.

I still see or meet him every week in my local church, but we don’t really talk that much. I just feel sorry for him.

So I left him behind, in life.

I don’t wanna say what it is. But sorry, I think that’s kinda pathetic. I don’t wanna judge, but I can’t help but think that they are just wasting their life.

And sometimes, I wonder if he is truly happy, or just afraid to let go of a version of themselves that once gave them meaning. Maybe that’s the scary part about staying the same. Not that nothing changes, but that we slowly stop noticing we’ve stopped growing.

Change without closure

Life doesn’t always give a proper closure. Sometimes we change unconsciously, without realizing it. We just wake up one day and find ourselves in a different place, with different people, and different circumstances. And we don’t even know how we got there.

Nobody tells you when a phase of your life ends, so treasure it!

One day you will look around: The people, The routine, and even your own thoughts no longer feels the same.