Prestige is stupid, do what really matters to you.

It’s semester break. I have a lot of things I should be doing. Instead, I’m writing this blog post to rant. Honestly, because I feel like it.

Before I start, this isn’t advice that applies to everyone. Everyone has different circumstances. I’m writing this because I’m tired of seeing people, including people I care about, hurt themselves trying to impress people who were never going to reward them anyway.

The Pattern I Keep Seeing

I’ve seen someone fail because of this. I was lucky enough to avoid the same mistake. The pattern shows up in different ways, but it’s always the same problem.

The prestigious university. A friend of mine was pushed into a well-known university. Not because they wanted to go there, but because it looked impressive. Their parents could proudly tell relatives where they studied.

But a famous university doesn’t guarantee success. The classes didn’t fit how they learned. The environment wasn’t right for them. After two semesters, they were retaking subjects they had already failed. The name looked great, but the reality was much harder. They chose the prestige instead of choosing what fit them.

The “Higher” position. I watched someone work hard to get a leadership role in a community. They didn’t really want the responsibility. They wanted the recognition.

After getting the role, they had to spend their own money, give up their free time, and carry responsibilities they weren’t ready for. Instead of enjoying the position, the position controlled their life. Eventually they burned out, and everyone saw it happen. That’s the problem with chasing prestige.

The choir for the wrong reason. Someone I know wanted to start a community choir. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem was that music or service weren’t the main reason. They wanted to be known as the person leading it. Maybe they did enjoy singing, but being recognized mattered more.

The organ I never played.

This story is mine. Years ago, my parents really wanted me to become a church organist. At the time, my teacher wasn’t ready to train me to the level I needed. I wasn’t confident either. Thankfully, I said no. Looking back, it was the right decision. If I had accepted just to make my parents happy, I probably would have embarrassed myself in front of the entire congregation doing something I wasn’t ready for.

What I’m Really Trying to Say

You don’t have to do everything your parents or other people want you to do. Sometimes they aren’t giving advice because it’s best for you. Sometimes they’re comparing you with someone else or I may say FOMO(?). They see another person’s success and want you to follow the same path.

Sometimes the best answer is simply “no,” and then choosing a path that actually makes sense for you.

But don’t use this as an excuse to have no ambition. You still need goals. They just need to be your goals. There’s a big difference between rejecting prestige and rejecting hard work.

Parents usually want the best for you. But comparison doesn’t help. Before chasing something impressive, ask yourself two questions.

1. Can I actually do this?
2. Am I willing to make the sacrifices it requires?

Prestige often lets people avoid those questions. It makes success look easier than it really is.

Your parents also don’t see your daily life anymore. They know who you are, but they don’t see everything you deal with every day. Sometimes they’re making decisions based on an older version of you.

That’s why mentors can sometimes give better advice in situations like this. It’s not because they care more. But they often have a clearer view of what you’re capable of right now. They see your progress, your weaknesses, and what you’re actually ready for.

That’s different from someone saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice if you did this?”

I still think about the organ story. I didn’t avoid failure because I was especially wise. I avoided it because I was scared enough to say no.

A few years later, I realized that fear probably saved me. I simply wasn’t ready. No amount of pressure could have changed that. If I had accepted the role just to satisfy other people’s expectations, the story would have ended very differently.

Prestige is borrowed light. It looks impressive from a distance. But sooner or later, people expect you to perform. That’s when you find out whether you were building real skill, or just standing next to a shiny title.